I had a dream two nights ago and the inverse came true today.
I am grateful for the victories, small as they may be, because they make me proud and keep me sustained. Because they are not failures. I think it would be remiss to avoid admitting that winning feels so goddamn good not for any of benefits of the win, but for merely not being a loss.
The losses make me hungry, but it is a lean hunger, the kind that vultures perceive, hours before they begin to circle. I am not dying and I will not starve but I am just going to lie down for a little while, over there.